The WOO Chronicles
by KC-Ket
Summary: The WOO Chronicles - Very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention. Features all characters of WinOfOpp, and a few more. Each chapter is complete, but there will be ongoing additions.
1. WOO0 In The Beginning

**Name:** KC

**Title:** In The Beginning

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be. The Xena introduction is owned Renaissance Pictures, Universal, and whoever else who has rights to the show. I have only borrowed it for a brief stint of dedicational mockery.

**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** The beginning of what can only be described as consequence-free activities.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4. The introduction to The WOO Chronicles.

**Author's Notes:** This is the introduction of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**In The Beginning**

_Introductory music_

In the time of Gods, Stargates and Asgard. A world in turmoil knew nothing of it's heroes. They were SG-1; a mighty team forged in the wonder of the Stargate and the stealing of loved ones. The power! The physicals! The knock-and-runs at death's door! Their courage will change the universe.

_Black scene interlude_

Malakai elbowed Teal'c in the stomach hard, causing a wave of pain from his symbiot throughout his body. He stumbled back clutching at the screeching parasite.

"Colonel!" Sam yelled in warning.

Malakai tried to elbow Jack in the face, but Sam's warning was enough for him to be able to duck in time. Sam leapt up from the breathless body of Daniel and tried to help Jack pull the deranged archaeologist away from the alter. There was a blinding flash of light that streamed from the Stargate to the alter, engulfing Malakai and the two Earth soldiers.

FLASH

"Anyway, I'm sorry. That just happens to be the way _I_ feel about it. What do you think?"


	2. WOO1 Insightful Suggestions

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Insightful Suggestions

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** Jack and Sam are inspired.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Insightful Suggestions**

_Jack leant back in his chair and groaned in frustration.__  
_

"_Exactly how many of these loops have you ... have we ... been through?  
_

"_I've ... lost track."  
_

"_That must be frustrating."  
_

"_Uh ... yeah!" Jack replied sarcastically.  
_

"_On the other hand, it's kind of an opportunity."  
_

"_How's that?"  
_

"_Well, think about it. If you know in advance that everything will be go back to the way it was, then ... you could do anything ... for as long as you want, without having to worry about consequences…"_

FLASH

Jack lay on the debriefing table staring at the ceiling. "Hey Carter, do you really think we can do anything?"

"Well, Sir, it is theoretically possible, although we wouldn't be completely without consequences." Sam replied, slowly spinning in her chair.

"What do you mean?" Jack rolled over and looked at her.

"Well, we'd still know what we've done. So any actions we take must be acceptable to ourselves."

"So if we kill Kinsey we'll get that warm fuzzy feeling every time we see him?"

Sam chuckled. "Something like that."

Jack rolled back to his original position, studying the ceiling intently as his mind reeled with all the possibilities, quite a few centred around physically harming Kinsey. And Samuals. And Maybourne. And maybe he'd kick Rothman in a loop or two.

"Stuff learning that Ancient mumbo-jumbo; there's fun to be had!" Jack declared as he leapt off the table. "I'm going to find out where a few people are for the next loop!"

Sam remained seated. Her mind was reeling was all the possibilities that she could come up with. Beating up Kinsey was certainly one of them, but there was someone else she had to see first. As Sam stood and made her way out of the debriefing room she tried to think of several ailments she could be suffering from.

FLASH


	3. WOO2 Sharing Opinions

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Sharing Opinions

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** Phone a friend (?) is taken to a new level.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Sharing Opinions**

"Kinsey." A voice answered over the speakerphone.

"Senator Kinsey?"

There was a pause. "Who is this?"

"This is Colonel Jack O'Neill! How are you today?" Jack said in the most cheerful voice he could muster.

Sam sat on the other side of the desk snickering quietly. She was glad Jack told her about his plan. So far they had called Samuals' house and threatened to fill his pool with cow dung, and send his wife off to marry Lord Yu.

"Look Colonel, I'm a very busy man and have no time for your antics. What do you want?" Kinsey said crossly. It seemed he wasn't in the mood for small talk…

Jack could live with that. "I just wanted to let you know that you're a dick."

"Excuse me?" Kinsey was on the brink of yelling.

"I think you're a self-righteous, brown-nosing, arrogant little two-timing dumb-ass, that wouldn't know good manners even if it came up and pissed in his mouth."

"…"

"Oh, and your wife is _great_ in the sack."

FLASH


	4. WOO3 Too Early

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Too Early

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** One must be careful not to be too early.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes**: This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Too Early**

"Colonel O'Neill! I just got a very angry call from Senator Kinsey telling me you prank called him at his holiday house. Is this true?" General Hammond demanded as he stormed into the debriefing room.

Jack looked up from the laptop where Sam was working. "Yes sir."

"Are you crazy?"

"Yes sir."

"Sir, I told you we should have called later." Sam said out of the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah, I guess it was a bit too early. But we had to set the stage for this."

"I kinda feel bad for Teal'c, sir."

"Nah, don't worry about him. He said he'd be more than happy to help piss off Kinsey."

"Like this?" Sam looked away from the screen depicting a photo of Teal'c with Kinsey's wife.


	5. WOO4 Medical Advice

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Medical Advice

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1

**Pairing:** Sam/Janet in this one.

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** Sam gets some medical advice.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Medical Advice**

Janet looked up with pleasant surprise as someone entered her office. "Sam, to what do I owe the honour?"

Sam closed the door and turned to face her friend. "Oh, just dropping by, no reason in particular."

Janet frowned. Sam didn't sound herself. Perhaps she was suffering a side effect of the time loop. "Are you feeling ok? Come sit down. Let me check you out." Janet got up from her chair and walked around to the front of her desk.

"Check me out? Well, it's a start." Sam grinned as she sat down, looking expectantly at the Doctor.

Janet froze.

"I really think I need a physical though."

Janet didn't move.

"It's like my body is on fire. Do I look hot to you?"

Janet took a tentative step forward and reached out for Sam's forehead to feel for a temperature. "You don't feel hot."

Suddenly Sam stood to her full height in front of the smaller doctor. "My body's on fire, my heart is racing, I'm sure my pupils are dilated, and it only started since I entered this room. I'm not a M.D., so I could sure use your _medical advice_ on this one."

Janet audibly gulped but stood her ground. She felt Sam's breath on her ear as the physicist leant down and forward.

"_Any_ advice?" She whispered huskily.


	6. WOO5 Round Four?

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Round four?

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** Sam invites Janet to a show.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Round four?**

"Sam! Don't just sit there! Help him!" Janet shouted incredulously at a seated Major Samantha Carter, who just pulled an empty chair next to her in response. Janet stared with disbelief. She couldn't believe the scene before her.

Sgt Siler appeared to be having a boxing match with Rothman. Both men had split lips, but Rothman looked worse off; also sporting a rapidly bruising eye, a cut under that eye, and a limp. They were dancing, if you could call it that, around each other waiting for the next strike. And SG-1 were sitting in chairs watching them.

"Popcorn?" Colonel O'Neill offered.


	7. WOO6 Bob

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Bob

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** Kinsey was right.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Bob**

"Kinsey." A voice answered over the speakerphone.

"Senator Kinsey?"

There was a pause. "Who is this?"

"This is Colonel Jack O'Neill! How are you this fine sunny day?" Jack said in an extremely cheerful voice. He was having _soooo_ much fun.

Sam was curled in the chair on the other side of the desk stifling a fit of giggles. She was amazed at the vast variety of ways they can piss that imbecile off.

"Look Colonel, I'm a very busy man and have no time for your antics. What do you want?" Kinsey said crossly. He was never in the mood for small talk.

Jack grinned wickedly. "I just wanted to tell you know that were right."

"Right about what?" Kinsey asked sceptically but with definite signs of anger in his tone.

"You were right to mistrust Teal'c. The Goa'uld are evil and the Jaffa who serve them enjoy doing their wretched bidding." He had taken half of the loop with Sam and Daniel's help to come up with such a colourful outlet for his latest idea (although not completely original). Sam let a giggle through.

"I don't know what your game is Colonel, but I demand you tell me this instant." Kinsey yelled.

"Okey dokey then." Pause. "Teal'c has seduced your wife and had his vile ways with her."

"…"

"Bob," Jack tries so hard to sound sympathetic. "She's pregnant."


	8. WOO7 Hysterics

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Hysterics

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Pairing:** Implied Sam/Janet.

**Summary:** Janet walks in on Sam. It's awkward (but funny).

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Hysterics**

Janet could hear laughter down the hall, and if her ears were as good as she hoped then the laughter originated from one Samantha Carter. She followed the sounds as if following a siren's call. _What on earth was she laughing about?_ Janet wondered.

She followed all the way to the door of Colonel O'Neill's office. Suddenly Sam was gasping for breath! Janet opened the door and strode in determined to save her friend's life, but what she saw stopped her dead in her tracks.

"What's going on…?" She asked warily.

Jack looked up from his laugh-induced slump to look at her. Her face was priceless and sent him into another bout of hysterical laughter. Sam had looked up as well and had had the same response. Janet just couldn't believe what she was seeing. She stood there waiting.

Once the laughter and giggles had died down, after some time, the two members of SG-1 tried to contain themselves to look at the doctor with a straight face. They were unsuccessful and bore big grins instead, but at least they were looking at her, and had stopped laughing uncontrollably.

"Is there anyway I can ask what's so funny without you two…" She was cut off by Jack losing it again. Sam, however, miraculously did not.

"We just finished calling Maybourne." Sam clenched her jaw to stop from laughing.

"Why?"

"To tell… to tell him that Sam… that Sam…" He lost it again.

"Well, you see, um, his ex-wife left him for, well, another woman." Sam blushed. "And we told him it was me."

"You?" Janet raised her eyebrows and clenched her own jaw.

"Well it wasn't me, of course! But, he doesn't know that."


	9. WOO8 Delivery

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Delivery

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Summary:** The SGC gets a delivery.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Delivery**

"I have 1 cheese and bacon, 7 meat lovers, 15 Supremes, 6 Hawaiian, 4 cheese lovers, 30 garlic breads and 20 bottles of coke." The delivery man read out loud off the receipt.

The guard at the gate just looked at him stoically.

"So, ah, who is going to pay for this?" The delivery man looked between the armed men nervously.


	10. WOO9 Duck

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Duck

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Summary:** Always know when to duck, also to never cross with Teal'c.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Duck**

Sam ducked as the pie flew over her head. Jack threw another, this time in the direction of the door. Unfortunately, Teal'c had just walked in right at that moment and received a pie square in the face. His lifted his hand and wiped the cream away. He stared at Jack momentarily then dived for the nearest up-turned table.

Jack and Sam shared a look of concern before ducking behind their respective tables.

It wasn't long before the entire commissary was covered in cream, including the many SGC personnel that had come in during the war. Sam was covered, Jack was covered, and so were Daniel, Janet, and Siler. Miraculously Teal'c had managed to stay relatively untouched, except for the initial hit by Jack. But don't worry; Jack was made to regret that.


	11. WOO10 Dressed to the Nine

**Name:** KC

**Title:** Dressed to the Nine

**Disclaimer:** The story, characters and everything regarding SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions etc. They are not mine and never will be.

**Pairing:** Sam/Janet

**Summary:** Sam gets dressed formal.

**Spoiler or Other Information:** - Spoilers for 'Window of Opportunity' in season 4.

**Author's Notes:** This is an episode of The WOO Chronicles - very brief retellings of events that happened during the looping of Window of Opportunity as I have envisioned. There will be much mockery, and much corniness, but that is my intention.

**Dressed to the Nine**

If Sam was being honest then she would have admitted to being completely uncomfortable. Not only was she wearing her dress uniform and make-up, she was also headed towards the infirmary to take advantage of her current predicament – the time loop. She was that scared that her hands were shaking. She wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for Teal'c. Repeated conversations eventually wore her down. With a deep breath, Sam mustered all the courage she had left after fighting the save the universe (several times).

"You do realise that you can't leave the base?" Janet raised her eyebrows at her friend's attire.

"Yes. I'm aware of that." Sam closed and locked the door behind her.

"Riiight…" Janet frowned and stood up. She walked around the desk to find out exactly what was wrong.

"Wait!" Sam fished around in her pockets. When she found what she wanted she dropped to one knee. She held out a small laser crafted naquada ring. "Janet Fraiser, will you marry me?"


End file.
